For The Record

I have not had to open a single door for myself since I have been here.

I know I was raised a certain way. I have midwestern parents. Not so long ago, I had both of my parents at church together for a sermon by one of the rare people in my life who has actually known my family, all of my siblings, and parents when they were married. The significance of the day was when in the church pew my father was closest to the aisle, then myself and my mother. When exiting my father stepped out and back to allow myself and my mother to walk out before him.

The fact that I noticed this and that it was so natural speaks wonders to how I was raised, and what has since happened to me. Just a hint to people, no matter what has happened there is still some form of something that exists to give a daughter a feeling of respect and love no matter how life has flipped turned upside down and given you the middle finger. You must know that the people that created you had something at some point and when you're lucky enough to get a glimpse, just smile and know you deserve the same thing, no matter what happens.

Our pastor was as surprised as I was to see the three of us together. It was one of the best days of my life second to when my mother was sick and I heard her on the phone laughing with my father. I had no idea what they were talking about at the time but I know it made me realize everything prior that I thought of their relationship was so naive. I missed most of it, and all of the good times, but know I came from something that was once beautiful, though now so tainted. It's never gone back to how it was that day but it's nice to know what I want so bad in my life, I had the ability to see it between my parents. It was simply a moment and will last my lifetime. Not everyone will open their eyes to see such beauty in a moment. I really liked that day. I still remember the color of the rose bushes outside the church that day. It was glorious...and they were the same color my mother grew in her garden.

Go ahead and call me ma'am . I got in trouble in California for calling my old boss Sir...here it's natural and I like that.