One. My baby is one.

It's a tough thing for a first time mom to say, "My baby is one". For so long we counted weeks, weeks pregnant, weeks old, then months, and now all of the sudden my baby is one.

I didn't know how much I would love her. I knew it would be tons, but nothing of this magnitude. I haven't had too many sleepless nights and none would be because she kept me up fussing. The truth is, I probably haven't slept through the night many times at all because I check the monitor, have to use the restroom, and can't help but sneak into her nursery to make sure she is okay. I touch her chest to make sure she is breathing. I see her peacefully resting which makes me feel at ease for a moment. As soon as I walk away I'm back to first time mom mode. Attempting to rest so I can give her my best during the day. Sleeping with the crazy ability to hear her move even a little and able to run if I hear her whimper in her sleep. She is a bit of a dreamer.

She now wakes me by calling out, "Mama". She's usually sitting up in her crib waiting for me. Simple little things mean so much to me. She makes friends wherever we go. Her smile is infectious. She waves to everyone. I constantly have strangers telling me how beautiful she is. I'm trying so hard to make sure she is kind, even when I want to scream at people who touch her. I love when she starts smiling and waving to the tables around us at restaurants. She loves having an audience and has added clapping to her attention getting super charming repertoire. Every day is precious. I'm not sure if it's the losses I've had in the past couple of years or the fragility of bringing a tiny human into the world, but I have learned to slow down and be in the moment with her. I think that is one of the greatest things about having her. I see so much of myself in her now. When she was born I was so upset that she didn't look like me. Now I see not just a mini me, but a tiny magnificent human. She also looks adorable in flower crowns.