Mother's Day Brunch: Cinnamon Rolls with Maple Glaze

I had the sweetest Mother's Day with my little girl. Audrey was only a few weeks old last year on my first Mother's Day. I'm not sure I enjoyed it as much as this year. Everything has become more fun as she grows and can interact with us. Yes, of course my first Mother's Day was special but this year I was up to doing something special for my family.

My husband loves cinnamon rolls and frankly, who doesn't?! Instead of taking the easy route with one of those cans that pop and scare me every time I open one, I decided to make some from scratch. These are life-altering, so good, I already want to make them again cinnamon rolls. With all of cinnamon's healthful and healing properties, I can't help but think these are actually good for you! ;-)

A couple of things about this recipe; you should make the base dough the night before, feel free to add toasted chopped pecans or other nuts/chocolate chips in the filling, and feel free to use a mixer with a dough hook to knead the dough (I happen to love kneading things by hand). I haven't tried freezing the rolls after they are cut (before they rise and go in the oven) but experience tells me, you can freeze them at that point and just take them out the night before you want to bake them and let them sit, covered with plastic in the parchment lined baking dish until they have proofed overnight. I would brush them with melted butter before they go in the oven.

Enjoy with tea and good company.

Best Ever Cinnamon Rolls with Maple Glaze
Ingredients
For the dough base:
1/2 cup whole milk
1/2 cup water
1 1/4 -ounce packet active dry yeast (2 1/4 teaspoons)
1/4 cup sugar
pinch of sugar (for the yeast mixture)
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled, plus more for brushing
1 large egg yolk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
3/4 teaspoon good salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg (optional)
Directions:
Warm 1/2 cup water and the milk in a saucepan over low heat or in microwave until a thermometer registers 100 degrees F to 110 degrees F. Remove from the heat and sprinkle the yeast on top, then sprinkle with a pinch of the sugar; set aside, undisturbed, until foamy, about 5 minutes.

Whisk the melted butter, egg yolk and vanilla into the yeast mixture until combined. In a large bowl, whisk the flour, the remaining sugar, the salt and nutmeg. Make a well in the center, then add the yeast mixture and stir with a wooden spoon to make a thick and slightly sticky dough. Turn out onto a floured surface and knead until soft and elastic, about 6 minutes or use a dough hook in a stand mixer. Add additional flour if necessary. Shape into a ball.

Brush a large bowl with melted butter. Add the dough, turning to coat lightly with the butter. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise at room temperature until the dough is doubled in size, about 1 hour, 30 minutes.

Turn the dough out of the bowl and punch it down to release excess air; re-form into a ball and return to the bowl. Lightly butter a large piece of plastic wrap and lay it directly on the surface of the dough. Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 4 hours or overnight.

Ingredients
For the filling:
1 1/2 sticks (12 tablespoons) unsalted butter, melted
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
All-purpose flour, for dusting

For the glaze:
1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
3 tablespoons milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon maple extract (optional)
Pinch of salt
Directions
Make the rolls: Line a 9-by-13-inch baking dish with parchment paper. Whisk the sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. On a floured surface, roll out the dough into a 10-by-18-inch rectangle about 1/4-inch thick. Spread the melted butter over the dough, leaving a 1-inch border on one of the long sides. Top with the cinnamon sugar. Tightly roll the dough into an 18-inch log, rolling toward the clean border, brushing off excess flour as you roll; pinch the seam to seal.

Slip a long piece of thread or fishing line under the roll, about 1 1/2 inches from the end. Lift the ends of the thread and cross over the roll, pulling tightly to cut off a piece. Repeat, cutting every 1 1/2 inches, to make about 12 rolls. Place the rolls in the parchment lined baking dish.

Cover the rolls loosely with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size, about 1 hour, 30 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Uncover the rolls and bake until they spring back when pressed, 25 to 30 minutes. Let cool 10 minutes in the pan. (You can freeze the baked rolls for up to 2 weeks. Cool completely before freezing, then thaw, warm up and glaze before serving.)

Make the glaze: Whisk the confectioners' sugar, melted butter, milk, vanilla, maple extract and salt in a bowl until smooth. Drizzle over the warm rolls.

Recipe adapted from Food Network Magazine

Best Ever Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Cookies

I had no idea I was living with Cookie Monsters until I made these cookies. It's serious. I love cookies. I make them on occasions and often keep some dough frozen. These might be my favorite, like ever.

I baked off some that I had frozen so I could take photos for this blog. I may have given my daughter a bite from the first batch a day prior. To say she didn't waste any time getting into them would be an understatement. I put down the plate and removed my camera lens cover and in my first shot was this tiny hand. I took a few more photos and the cookie was in her mouth. She proved my point and made the cutest photo!

I recently started to follow Smitten Kitchen on Instagram. She had posted this recipe and some great photos. I decided to try it and am so glad I did! It's one of the rare times where I follow someone else's recipe exactly and don't really need to make any changes. I did use Ghiradelli dark chocolate baking chips instead of a bar of chocolate. I find their chocolate great for baking and easy to find. The pieces are larger than standard chocolate chips. The Maldon Sea Salt Flakes are what make this recipe amazing. Use the three (yes 3) kinds of sugar. I promise it's worth it. I also love that there are weights and measures in this version. I am not claiming any credit for this recipe but I can tell you that it is test kitchen approved. You can find the link below to the blog post and I am sharing her version of the recipe. Enjoy!
Smitten Kitchen

Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Cookies
1/2 cup (4 ounces or 113 grams) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 tablespoons (25 grams) granulated sugar
2 tablespoons (25 grams) turbinado sugar (aka Sugar in the Raw; you can use more brown or white if you don’t have this, but the subtle crunch it adds is delightful)
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons (165 grams) packed light or dark brown sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
Heaped 1/4 teaspoon (or, technically, 1/4 + 1/8 teaspoon) fine sea or table salt
1 3/4 cups (220 grams) all-purpose flour
1/2 pound (225 grams) semi- or bittersweet chocolate, cut into roughly 1/2-inch chunks with a serrated knife
Flaky sea salt, to finish

Heat oven to 360°F (180°C) and line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicon baking mat.

In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugars together with an electric mixer until very light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add egg and vanilla, beating until incorporated, and scraping down the bowl as needed. Beat in salt fine sea or table salt and baking soda until combined, then the flour on a low speed until just mixed. The dough will look crumbly at this point. With a spatula, fold/stir in the chocolate chunks.

Scoop cookies into 1 1/2 tablespoon (I used a #40 scoop) mounds, spacing them apart on the prepared baking sheet. Sprinkle each with a few flakes of sea salt. Bake for 11 to 12 minutes, until golden on the outside but still very gooey and soft inside. Out of the oven, let rest on baking sheet out of the for 5 minutes before transferring a cooling rack.

Tiny Texas Garden

The only thing that is tiny in Texas is my four foot by four foot garden. It makes me so happy to have one again.

During the portion of my life in East Tennessee, we had a huge garden and it was so fruitful! Something about having had black thumbs most of my life went away with the miracle mud in sweet Tennessee. Several weeks ago, I started my garden. I began with seeds of many kinds and a small greenhouse I found online.

I had previously never worked with a greenhouse but had always wanted to. Our back yard gets very strong winds and where we live, like most of Texas, the weather is unpredictable.
Within days I had sprouts in both my containers and the Jiffy pots!

Later I replanted the Jiffy pots into my tiny garden. Overnight the sports were stronger and already much bigger. I decided to direct sow some radishes and carrots along with beets and lettuce. My containers are not growing the same. I think there is something to be said for an actual garden, even if it is tiny. I'm quite happy I decided to use the extra seeds and experiment with direct sow versus container growing.

Yesterday I decided I wanted to grow sunflowers again. In our Tennessee garden, I planted a row of mammoth sunflowers. Some of my favorite memories of walking through that garden are of looking up at these gorgeous giant sunflowers. They had hundreds of edible seeds in each gorgeous bloom. Here's to hoping for some success in Texas. I planted a few in the front of our house. We may be renting but that doesn't mean I can't make it beautiful. I planted several varieties and heights along with some zinnias.

For my whole life I believed that the luffa bath sponge came from the ocean. I have no idea where I began to believe that to be true. I definitely never questioned it. Sea sponges seemed logical to me. It could be possible as I have not consulted my friend google. I do know that I was mind blown when I found seeds for a gourd that are described to be "astonishingly tasty when picked young (2"), soft or light green. Harvest dry for terrific bath sponges." I planted the whole pouch in a giant barrel planter. I'm excited to see how these turn out. Who knows? I could be growing organic holiday gifts if this all works as planned!

There is something so healing about a garden. It brings me so much joy to see things flourish and to know I will soon be feeding my family from my tiny Texas garden.

A blog written 4/28/2012. Still relevant today!

We go through so many changes in life. Some people call this growth. I call it making it happen. Some days are good some are mediocre but every day presents a challenge. The challenge of finding something to smile about, something to look forward to, something to whine about. Amidst the chaos we find a balance of how to play hide and seek not just with our emotions but our desires. What ever holds us back from getting what we always wanted? Fear. The only thing that hinders progress and success but without it we are less accomplished. Why not just jump? If we question it first and try to analyze the possible outcomes and work through the fear we have a greater sense of personal accomplishment but end up in the same place as long as we don't jump. I question how much energy I waste on fear. It's making me realize that I was always left with more time to enjoy the opportunities I create for myself if I go in not having been blinded by fears. Faith is what gets you through. Fear drags out time that can be spent on fun. I would much rather have more fun than fear in my life. Let's go!

One. My baby is one.

It's a tough thing for a first time mom to say, "My baby is one". For so long we counted weeks, weeks pregnant, weeks old, then months, and now all of the sudden my baby is one.

I didn't know how much I would love her. I knew it would be tons, but nothing of this magnitude. I haven't had too many sleepless nights and none would be because she kept me up fussing. The truth is, I probably haven't slept through the night many times at all because I check the monitor, have to use the restroom, and can't help but sneak into her nursery to make sure she is okay. I touch her chest to make sure she is breathing. I see her peacefully resting which makes me feel at ease for a moment. As soon as I walk away I'm back to first time mom mode. Attempting to rest so I can give her my best during the day. Sleeping with the crazy ability to hear her move even a little and able to run if I hear her whimper in her sleep. She is a bit of a dreamer.

She now wakes me by calling out, "Mama". She's usually sitting up in her crib waiting for me. Simple little things mean so much to me. She makes friends wherever we go. Her smile is infectious. She waves to everyone. I constantly have strangers telling me how beautiful she is. I'm trying so hard to make sure she is kind, even when I want to scream at people who touch her. I love when she starts smiling and waving to the tables around us at restaurants. She loves having an audience and has added clapping to her attention getting super charming repertoire. Every day is precious. I'm not sure if it's the losses I've had in the past couple of years or the fragility of bringing a tiny human into the world, but I have learned to slow down and be in the moment with her. I think that is one of the greatest things about having her. I see so much of myself in her now. When she was born I was so upset that she didn't look like me. Now I see not just a mini me, but a tiny magnificent human. She also looks adorable in flower crowns.

Three years

I spent a small portion of my evening looking thru photos I have stored on my phone. A snapshot of time that has passed. It's been three years since I last told my father I loved him. A lot has changed since then. One thing that has not changed is that love I had for him. It has not grown. There has been nothing to foster it. It has not faded. There is nothing that can take it from me. It's a feeling of permanency, a simple fact that he is gone that lingers. My memories of him have not begun to fade as I once feared. They are vivid and bright as I hope to retain them. I wish he could be around to see my daughter. She reminds me so much of him, more so each day. Her eyes are exactly his color. Her personality is starting to resemble his. It's possible she is just becoming more of a reflection of me, who may be more a reflection of him than I ever realized. I'm okay with that.
Meet me where the music plays.

Terminal diagnosis and a daughters love

As a human, I think we should be allowed to discuss things that have affected us and impacted our lives. While I was living it, I rarely mentioned my father's illness. With the recent posts all over social media about a human with terminal cancer who chose to move to a place that allowed her by law to be prescribed life-ending medications, it has stirred up a lot of emotions for me.

First off, I've prayed a lot on the subject and for the young woman and for her family. I prayed for healing no matter what her decision was about moving to a place that legally allowed her the right to choose to end her suffering. Cancer in itself is a terrible word. It has done nothing but shatter and mold and change my life. You see, I'm the daughter of a two time cancer surviving mother, and I was the sole caretaker for my beloved father who passed from terminal cancer. I have a perspective that I know many people can share in understanding. I know many people who have been affected by the diseases in so many ways. It seems as though everyone knows someone who has heard that dreaded C-word come into their life and completely rock their world. 

I have to state that having a parent with cancer or in my case two single parents, is different than the experience someone may have had with their family. I have always felt that it's different when it's in your house. I'm not talking about the house you grew up in and occasionally go back to visit. I'm talking about day in and day out, 24/7, being a caretaker. I've done it not just once but 3 times and at one point it was in two different states. I'm sharing my story for no other reason than I want to help someone, any one human who is going thru something difficult. I want them to know that given the current social discussion, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

My mother was first diagnosed with Colorectal Cancer in the Summer of 2005. I was in Italy, Venice to be exact, when I was on the phone with her and first sensed something was wrong. I had just left my job, and was traveling thru Italy and Spain with my father for a month. I had a gut feeling something was seriously wrong. Her diagnosis came as a shock to my system but by the time I had returned to the US, I was aware that whatever it was, I would take it day by day. She had waited until my second day back to tell me what was going on. By then, she had already had a plan with her team of doctors. None of us were really sure what was going to happen. Thru tears, we decided we would still find humor in life and laugh when we could to get thru whatever we were up against. When it's in your home, you live it too. 

I had been accepted to Pastry School in New York and knew there was no way I was leaving at that point. I called the school and deferred my enrollment to the next term. From the time I landed in early July until the day I got on a plane to move to New York, my focus was my mother. 

It sucked for me, and it sucked even more for her going thru treatment. Radiation and chemo, then surgery, followed by more chemo. The days were long, we were at the doctors offices five days a week, for hours at a time. I got to know all of the other patients and their families. Inevitably, there would be families that would stop showing up and you just knew. You just knew. It was heartbreaking, but I also witnessed so much courage.

My mom was often so frazzled by the whole situation and the stress of it that she couldn't understand or comprehend what the doctors were saying. It was tough to see such a smart strong woman, in such a state. She was never weak minded though at times the stress was overwhelming. I remember certain nights where I would awake to her screaming in pain after the portacath was sergically inserted. It was awful. Somehow we managed to find things to laugh and smile about. She has always told me, "If you're born to hang, you're not going to drown." Meaning, trust God's plan and let go of the worries you have about things that are out of your control. I live this way.

Doctor's gave her a 10% chance of making it five years. She laughed at that, did the treatments and surgeries, and by December, I was on a plane to New York to attend school. I flew back to California every other weekend while I was in school. There were many times that I had to be home to take her to appointments. At this point she was told the treatments and surgery were successful and was wearing a chemo pump for the "insurance treatment" as we called it. Just to make sure it wouldn't come back.

Several years later, I was on the phone with my father while I was at work. It was a mid-July morning, and I asked him what he was doing and he casually mentioned he was leaving chemo. Seriously, like he had just dropped off his dry cleaning casual, he said, "leaving chemo". My heart fell out of my body. He had just bought his dream home in Tennessee. I had been out to visit for a few weeks, about six weeks prior, after having tracked him down in the hospital there. At the time we didn't think anything was that dreaded term, cancer.

He assured me it was nothing to worry about and a few days later I had made arrangements to be on a plane. 

Three years ago, August 8th, I arrived in Tennessee with a single suitcase. I was ready to face anything and had planned to stay as long as necessary, but had assumed it would be a couple of weeks as he went through treatments. I never left. I started my Girl Meets Tennessee Blog as a way to pass the time, and get my mind off what was really going on in our house. It was a welcome distraction for both of us. Such a precious and special time to be with my father.

By September, shortly after his 70th birthday, we were told it would be his last. They were stopping treatments, he should go do what makes him happy and enjoy his time. He asked how long. He pressed for an answer his doctor didn't want to give him. He was told 3-4 months from the initial diagnosis. It was a lot to take in.

In early October, my mother's youngest sister was found dead from a pulmonary embolism. 

Days later, after seven years of survival from colorectal cancer, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. It had no relation to her prior diagnosis. 

There it was, my father was terminal, my aunt passed, and my mother had her second kind of stage 3 cancer. No one knew my father was terminal. He chose to continue to live his life. He didn't want people to treat him differently. He didn't want pity or awkward conversations. He was sick. We knew there would come a day where he would leave me behind to return to a healed and whole state in Heaven. He agreed to meet me where the music plays. 

My father lived thru some very difficult experiences with his illness. There were awful days and falls that would lead us to the ER on a regular basis. I knew everyone in the hospital. They were so kind to us and he loved going to see his girls whenever he would have to go get fluid drained from his abdomen to relieve the constant build up that had been causing discomfort and difficulty breathing. More importantly though, there were good days too. Right up until the very end. 

We met some amazing people through our hospice program. As hard as our situation was, we lived without regret. He was always joking until he didn't have anything more to laugh about. I knew then. I just knew. Things changed swiftly at that point. I found myself on auto-pilot, grief stricken, exhausted, heartbroken, yet I was still hopeful and full of love. 

I miss him every day. I love that we were able to spend those months together. He far outlived the 3-4 month estimate for his life and we shared Christmas and a Valentines Day too. I wouldn't have been able to function after what we went through had things been different. I know he didn't want to suffer or see me upset but he loved me and I loved him no matter what we had to deal with regarding his illness. 

As for my mother, she's pretty happy to see her granddaughter now. She was told grim things and decided to fight. My father fought as well. My daughter has her granddaddy's eyes. I'm certain had things gone down a different path, I would not have met my husband and have my precious daughter. 

While I respect the state laws, I'm grateful for my family that we never had to have that kind of discussion. I also don't smoke pot. For me, there are all kinds of things that are legal in certain places that I choose not to participate in. 

My heart aches for anyone who hears the word cancer. A terminal diagnosis though can be a beautiful time filled with love and memories and a legacy of strength and learning.